Cold hands, warm shart.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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