What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
