If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
