why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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