His pubic hair was longer than his dick
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
