so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
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