The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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