he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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