Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
lol hangovers are for mortals.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
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