i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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