this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
