i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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