Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
pray to the hookup gods
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Randomize
