Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Randomize
