i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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