I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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