Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
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