I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
