I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
Randomize
