WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.