i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?