Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
19 Parents Had Epic Reactions When Catching Their Kids Being “Bad”
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman