I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
