Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT