Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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