shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
