My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
