as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
