And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
