I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
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I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
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He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
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