it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
