a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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