you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
