she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
