im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
