hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
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