How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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