I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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