I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
