I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
