i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
