yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I fucking hate them. They came over and sat on me and made out. On top of me. Who the fuck does that?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
