I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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