Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
