Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
