Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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