I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
