My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I need a new best friend. Someone who drinks like a fish, hooks up enough to raise eyebrows, and isn't afraid to admit that masturbation is the second best way to spend time. Someone like me! Help me put up posters.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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