weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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