Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
