Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
