considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
