Your mouth is God's brothel.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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