Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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