So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Randomize
