I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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