I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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