So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
