I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
