No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
