community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
