babies were throwing up all over the place
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
