i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
